charlie sheenThere’s no denying that Charlie Sheen seems to have totally lost his crackers. In the past week, he has visited every major media outlet, talking about the cancellation of “Two and a Half Men” and his resulting “new life philosophies.”

Sheen’s strange rants have already coined enough catch-phrases to last a lifetime–so why not let them inspire your baby name? These colorful words are perfect for “Vatican warlock assassins” and Major League fans alike!

Alternates: Winston, Winnifred, Winnie
Want your child to be a winner like Charlie Sheen? Bake it right into the name!

2. Poetry
Alternates: Poesy, Lyric, Melody
Charlie Sheen says he has “poetry in [his] fingertips. This is most of the time, including naps.” Perfect for baby!

3. Gnarls
Alternate: Ty, Fagan, Knute
Sheen’s alter-ego’s name is actually synonymous with “knotty”–ideal for raising a “complex” child.

4. Goddess
Alternate: Athena, Aurora, Luna
This is a wonderful choice for a little lady who strives to become a celebrity’s live-in girlfriend.

5. Adonis
Alternate: Demetrius, Hermes, Phoenix
… or live-in boyfriend.

6. Bayonet
Alternate: Lance, Macy, Gunnar
Battle-tested names are guaranteed to intimidate schoolyard bullies … and the paparazzi.

7. Mars
Alternate: Neptune, Venus, Celeste
Sheen has repeatedly called himself a “rock star from Mars”–now you can have your own little Ziggy Stardust.

8. Chaim
Alternate: Chava, Harry, Hadar
Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre’s Hebrew name translates to “life.” L’chaim!

9. Tiger
Alternate: Fox, Hawk, Raven
Sheen claims he has “tiger blood”–the lifeline of your future cross-country star!

10. Warlock
Aternate: Rowan, Zyphyr, Arwen
Sure to make your kid the hit of any “Dungeons and Dragons” game.

Got a brilliant baby name idea for this list? Add it to the comments below!