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why do i let people make me feel like i'm a bad person? (rant)

  • gaamy
    gaamy
    Participant

    once again i am letting self doubt and mostly my husbands family make me feel like a bad person.

    several months ago my SDs came to live with us b/c their mother could no longer afford to care for them. it has been then longest 4 months of my life. we’ve never had a really good relationship and their mom has seen to it that they think every bad thing that has ever happened in thier lives in their father’s fault. this has not helped with acclimating. as a matter of fact they pretty much refuse to follow our rules and expectations (which are TOTALLY reasonable) mostly b/c their mother has let them do whatever they want. they do not understand why it’s no ok for thier dog to pee and poo in the house, they do not understand why it’s not ok the wear the same underwear for a week- no wait they DO understand, b/c if nothing else i have explained to them, but they just really dont care and get very angry when you try to correct the behavior. they both lose their priveldges constantly b/c they just refuse to follow rules and it would seem they would rather be grounded than simply put their clothes in the laundry basket and wash them.

    their mother has said she will be able to take them back around tax time and my husband and i have agreed to let them go. we’re tired of being treated like crap for no reason. they are both old enough to know better (13 and 16) and to us they tension they cause in our house is simply unacceptable. we would love for them to stay with us and be happy, but it’s obvious they cant or dont even want to try so if being with their mom is what they want we’re going to let them have it, even though we dont think she will be able to care for them as well as we can.

    now his mother and sister have gotten hold of this info and claim that i never wanted them and that i havent tried and that i’m being unreasonable and that it’s just unthinkable to send them back to their mother who will probably have them in a hotel room w/in the next 6 mos. i really dont WANT that for them, the idea breaks my heart, but what’s worse is seeing how miserable they are here with us. but MIL and SIL have me double guessing our choice, like maybe i’m just being selfish… ugh…why do i let them do this!?

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  • jasonlovessara
    jasonlovessara
    Participant

    that is such a hard position. It seems like your husband made the decisions and I would just let his family know that.
    I am sorry you have to deal with that and even more sorry that those girls are choosing to go back to her :(

    Momkey
    Momkey
    Participant

    :( Sorry! You are not a bad person! They need to understand that they are not happy staying with your family and maybe if the girls change their mind they can stay with you, but as of right now, they want to go back to their mother! And I would have your husband there to back you up when telling them that!

Viewing 2 replies - 1 through 2 (of 2)

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