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Question about hyphenated last names??

  • TheWishingStar
    TheWishingStar
    Participant

    I don’t know if any of you have done this, or will do this, or maybe know people. I’m just curious: what do you do with hyphenated last names when it comes to passing a name to a child? For example, if you chose to hyphenate your last name when you got married, does the child get that hyphenated last name, or just the father’s? Or just the mother’s? What if you didn’t get married, but gave the child a hyphenated last name to include both parents? Then what happens when that child eventually grows up and gets married or has kids? Do you pass down a hyphenated name? Let’s say a daughter grows up with a hyphenated last name and wants to do the same thing her mother did and hyphenate when she gets married? Do you you drop some names, or do you add more names until the last name has like 5 hyphens? Or, say a son with the hyphenated names of his parents eventually gets married, and his wife wants to hyphenate their kids’ last name. How do you decide what name to drop, of if to drop?

    I don’t have a double last name. But I know lots of people do. And while I understand why and how it works when couples get married, it’s the next generations that seem more confusing…

    I don’t know. Just share general thoughts or personal experiences about what happens with hyphenated last names??

Viewing 5 replies - 1 through 5 (of 5)
  • yellowwatts
    yellowwatts
    Participant

    I would think the dad’s last name would be the one to get passed down.


    embra
    Participant

    The parents get to choose whatever makes sense for them. My one friend who has a hyphenated last name does so because she took her ex-husband’s last name in full when they got married, and his name was hyphenated. They gave their kids only the first part of that last name, although both parents were hyphenated, because they decided the hyphenated name was klunky. I think hyphenating maybe isn’t super common anymore though (although some cultures continue to add last names as people marry, but not hyphenated). It seems like it was pretty popular in the 80′s when just keeping your birth name made people look at you as though you might suddenly rip off your bra and burn it in the middle of Walmart. Now about half of my friends and family in my generation have kept their birth name (or had their wife keep hers) and the other half had the woman take the man’s last name. In most cases I know, the kids just took the guy’s last name, but in one case, guy and kids took the woman’s last name, and in one case, the woman kept her name and the baby has her name as well. I think you can give whatever last name you want to your kids, including calling them by a random made up name if that tickles your fancy.

    jenni_lynn91
    jenni_lynn91
    Participant

    Like Embra said, it depends on what each couple wants to do. I personally think having more than one last name or a hyphenated last name just makes things complicated. My fiance is Mexican, so he has two last names (father’s first last name, then mother’s first last name). We gave our daughter his first last name only, and when we get married I will be changing my last name to his first last name. We will all share the one last name, but my fiance will have an extra last name. When people ask for his name, he usually only gives the one last name anyways.

    TwoSapphires
    TwoSapphires
    Participant

    I agree it can get tricky and that each couple just chooses what makes the most sense to them. I kept my maiden name as a second middle name and I still use it sometimes.

    CecillieMarie
    CecillieMarie
    Participant

    In Denmark if you aren’t married the child gets the mother’s name automatically (if you don’t decide otherwise). Most unmarried people choose the name they would use when they get married of course but it has become normal that both parents keep their names when they get married.

    We got married a few months ago and it was so hard to agree on our surname. It was very important to me that we had the same name and became a “real” family. I have had my mother’s surname all of my life and my dad’s as my middle name. I didn’t want to be a man’s property so I had a hard time deciding if I wanted to take my husbands surname or not. We talked about hyphen it but in the end we decided not to. I think it looks silly with a non-letter in a name. But that’s just my opinion.

Viewing 5 replies - 1 through 5 (of 5)

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