Fight with MIL

pezz311 · Senior member **Joined:** 15 Dec 2004 **Posts:** 1446

Ok so I was debating about whether or not to post this because I'm not really sure anyone can help but I decided even if not I just need to vent. Last night my MIL (who lives with us) and I got into a HUGE fight and now it's just weird having her around and I really didn't even want to leave Anthony with her this morning but I don't really have a choice. Anyhow the fight started because me and DH were arguing about him taking money from my purse without asking and we ended up screaming at each other (bad i know) but the fight was pratically over when all of a sudden she comes storming into the house form the porch where I guess she was listening and starts screaming at DH not to yell in front of the baby (which she is doind ast this point) then she somes charging into the kitchen (where I was feeding Anthony) and starts screaming at me that I have no respect for DH and that I need to not yell in front of Anthony (which she was again doing) so I was already mad and basically told her to F**k Off Anthony is my son and if I want to yell in front of him I will and that is when she called me a c*nt. I was LIVID. I told her to get the hell out of my house now and she went to grab my neck and choke me but stopped before she got there and then looked at me all evil and was like "Make me leave." Well at this point I was just so mad I couldn't think straight so I just grabbed Anthony (who was screaming) and left. I walked around the apartment complex for a while until DH came out and begged me to come back in. I told him that it was either she had to go or I was leaving and he told me to tell her that if that was what I wanted. So I went in and told her I wanted her out and she started crying and telling me how she left her whole life behind to come down and take care of Anthony (she moved from Ohio to Florida) and now we are trying to kick her out and she doesn't have a job anymore up north and all this crap. So I just kind of let it go and now I guess shes still staying until February (when she was supposed to go home originally). My problem is that I really feel uncomfortable around her now. I want her out but I don't know how to get rid of her. She's not going to leave on her own so am I stuck with her? Or do you think I'm overreacting and should just forget that the fight happened? Sorry this is so long!

aprilmarie0204 · Senior member **Joined:** 06 May 2005 **Posts:** 853

I think that the tension was just really high last night and it sounds like a lot of things were said that maybe weren't meant?

Maybe you and dh and your mil could all sit down and talk about it. Let her know that while you appreciate her help with Anthony, this is your house, and if you and dh are yelling, thats your perogative, and it isn't her place to butt in.

Let her know that she has not right to talk to you the way she did, and while you lost you temper with her, she didn't exactly come to you calmly, nor at a time when you weren't already upset.

I hope things get smoothed out. It must be hard having her live there. I would jump out a window if my mil moved in.

Nicole · Senior member **Joined:** 24 Jul 2004 **Posts:** 2774

I don't think you over-reacted but I do think that Mike dropped the ball by telling you to tell his mother to get out. It seems to me like he agreed with you (if he didn't he would've told you that his mother wasn't going anywhere), so he should've been the one to give his mother the boot. One of the cardinal rules of marriage is that each of person should deal with his or her own parents and not expect the spouse to deliver any kind of bad news. You should sit down and have a talk with your husband. If you feel strongly about this, he should support you. However, you don't want to make it sound like you're asking him to choose between the two of you. Make it clear that you still want him and Anthony to have relationships with her, but that you feel like it would be for the best if she went back to Ohio. Make sure he understand why he needs to be the one to give her the final boot. Your MIL can always hate you, but she'll never hate her own son.

Guest · Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:55 am Post subject:

First of all she shouldnt get involved in your arguments, second of all she is going to back her son up regardless.

Be careful since now she may have a grudge against you and who knows what she can do to your baby, remember it came from you and is part of you, she dont care is your hubbys baby too. oh I just hate MIL sorry.

Guest · Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:25 am Post subject:

I would have made her leave. I am a firm believer in consequences. If she is staying in your home, she had to know that by screaming at you and attempting to choke you, that it would endanger her place to stay. She did it anyway and should have suffered the consequences. Had it been my MIL, she would have been hitchhiking to Ohio right now!